A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

Robert Anson Heinlein

This page highlights my general feelings on the subjects listed. If a title below is linked, then I have written a post that discusses the topic in more detail. Otherwise, I will write more about that subject sometime. 讀萬卷書不如行萬里路

On Business – There is a military saying: “amateurs talk strategy, and professionals talk logistics.” I find this especially true when founding even the most technologically advanced companies. The real challenge is often not ideas, science, math, technology, or business strategy, but rather the grunt work, ditch digging, plumbing, and thousands of unexciting, tiny, and mind-numbingly repetitive tasks that eventually combine to produce a finished success or failure. Similarly, the best teammates are typically not insulated high-flyers and PhDs, but relentless grunt workers, including yourself, tackling and solving endless streams of minutiae, trench after trench. However long you think it would take to reach the goal, it typically takes much longer. I have founded and run three technology consumer and business services companies that developed software, animated media, and trained tech professionals for industry certifications. Much of my experience in business comes from those adventures – and misadventures [this isn’t a process that always brings out the best in me]. While I generally express broad opinions about businesses, some applications may be truer in one industry than in others.

On Success – They say it takes about 25 years to become an overnight success. So while resolute in the effort, I’m not in a hurry for popular accomplishment. Finding meaning in the approach and process of work is as crucial to me as outcomes, and prioritizing healthy relationships alongside my career pursuits is non-negotiable. In both friendship and business, I am growth and long-term-minded, even when it means forgoing obvious quick wins that ultimately undermine broader principles.

On Humanity & Causes – I regard Business as vital as Charity because both solve human problems and enhance standards of living, though neither guarantees virtue without judgment, see an excerpt. I am also more inclined toward children and juveniles in destitution, and programs that offer sustainable paths to break the cycle rather than momentarily alleviate it. However, I believe both short and long-term solutions are equal partners in the process.

On Writing – My journals, both offline and online, are seldom about chronicling events or activities that have passed for posterity. I write primarily to think out loud without any particular commitment to the thoughts explored; plus, it’s cheaper than therapy after long coding sessions. My writing (and talking) tends to be packed with aphorisms; call it a vestige of my motivational seminar phase. But despite how my writing may appear, I have no disciplinary interest in psychology or philosophy – in fact, the academic aspects of both bore me, as does economics. However, I do borrow concepts and terminology from all these fields when they help me structure and communicate my ideas more clearly, using them purely as practical tools for presentation rather than from cerebral fascination with the disciplines themselves. I embrace learning as an ongoing process and am always open to changing my mind in light of new knowledge. As such, every article I write is living: can change over time with new insight and reinterpretation. My essays are probably best read at least a year from their first publication, after repeated passes of clarification and stress-testing have brought them closer to what they set out to say. Old software habit: never trust a 1.0. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Nevertheless, I do let some contradictions sit – marking personal and stage evolutions, not necessarily the negation of those notions in their proper context. Many of my anecdotes and observations draw from years of ridesharing and bicycle couriering, with all the wacky encounters and bystander moments those years produced. Where necessary for privacy, I do throw in fictional elements to protect details. I also minimize naming in exploratory pieces, praise or shame, to keep the discourse abstract and focused on the pattern being explored rather than on preconceptions about its actors or places. Research and editing draw on whatever earns its keep: reference shelves, audiobooks, video essays/lectures, search engines, a few unsparing readers, and AI, which spars with me over many rounds on facts, form, and register. A few articles sit behind a passcode for a smaller circle, but with time and comfort, I intend for all content to be public. The sparse Latin and Traditional Chinese interjections are a hangover from my botched attempt at learning both languages once upon a time. Portrait photos of me on this site are deliberately grayscale to reflect the somber losses of relationships and time during the often solitary journey toward who I am today.

On Politics – I am apolitical in the sense that I neither identify with any one political ideology exclusively nor deem politics itself the only means to build and resolve society. However, I am fully engaged in current discourses and world affairs, bearing in mind that real-life events are seldom as black and white as we often like to imagine them to be: we live in a world that is messy with complexities practically impossible to grasp or scrupulously redress, and survival for only the fittest – seemingly nature’s penchant – is as distasteful as the coercion into conformity by a majority. 樹倒猢猻散 Since governments are ultimately a product of people, I cheer a little more on individual maturity than I do on public programs, even though reckoning both as equally important. In the long run, I think better individual values in multiple will effect a better government, regardless of its size. As far as popular support goes, I am in favor of i) societies where civil power is broadly diffused with ample checks and balances on direction and leadership over societies where civil power is concentrated and dictatorial (Nigeria used to be a totalitarian state, so my low preference for this form of government comes from first-hand experience.); ii) societies where all citizens are equal before the law, and procedures are clear enough to apply to everyone fairly; iii) political parties that recognize their responsibility to promote the common good and facilitate constructive civil processes and tolerance. I loathe parties that exceed their institutional mandate by dictating how individuals should think and what values they should hold, especially given the selective adherence and outright hypocrisy of party ideologues toward their own beliefs as well as how these doctrines purposefully label and buttress caricatures of various groups in society to deepen exceptionalism, factions, and feuds (seen this movie before from my childhood household right into early adulthood; it’s never a happy ending.); iv) constructive civic discourse that answers a member’s voice on its merits. Everyone in a community has a fair claim to be heard, weighed, and, where warranted, dismissed for cause. The “if you don’t like it here, go somewhere they do it your way” mindset misses the point of responsible civic participation (and notice the order only ever travels outward; its issuers somehow never book their own passage away when society isn’t going their way). People raise their voice about a place precisely because it is theirs, which should be encouraged, not heckled or chilled into expulsion. The same respect applies to historical injuries: massacre, slavery, conquest. The societies quickest to prescribe amnesia for other people’s wounds tend to be the most devoted custodians of their own: “never forget” for a single morning’s attack, avenged abroad at many times its toll, yet “get over it” for centuries of bondage. A people’s harm is theirs to carry, grieve, resolve, and outgrow on their own calendar; for everyone else, the decent options are presence or recusal; v) as one myself, I am pro-immigration. While it may be understandable that people who left their homelands to resettle and colonize others illegally tend to be most particular about others migrating into the same places they occupied under foreign rule, our entire human history, akin to most other animals, is based on migrations, peacefully and forcefully. Therefore, I believe people should be bound by customs and laws, not by borders, for which most populations aren’t even aboriginal. I wish for a day when people can move freely around the world’s rich assortment of experiences and be allowed at least a fighting chance at survival wherever they eventually choose to call home and help build up. Such a day would ideally be one where migrants and frontiers do not thereafter make life uncomfortable for their host communities or seek to violently displace and resettle the host nations that once coexisted with them. On nationalism and patriotism, I favor neither. I wouldn’t be what I am today if left only to any single country or blood kin. I have benefited and flourished under the love and care of many cultures, arts, peoples, tastes, and knowledge. As a result, I identify with each and care just as much about what happens in remote places of the world as I do wherever I reside. Our lives, histories, and stories are often far more intertwined across nations and distant cultures than we tend to acknowledge. I embrace the shared identity of everyone foremost as human beings, and my patriotism is with the collective human race and our home planet, Earth. Read More »

On Race and Ethnic Relations – I admire Martin Luther King Jr.’s accomplishments and spirit. However, my personal predilection is more akin to Malcolm X’s reciprocity. If loved and accepted, I love and accept back – live and let live. When mistreated or stigmatized, I decide whether the situation merits continued engagement and will move on when the circumstances are not significant to my interests or values. Otherwise, I defend myself, whatever the outcome, and may well be defeated in the end, but will not be intimidated. Generally, I find the recital about “black” marginalization or “white*” privilege disingenuous for how often it serves more toward reinforcing and perpetuating the very delusion it claims to condemn – be it minority people fecklessly attributing every blame and fortune to their beige compatriots as though themselves intrinsically handicapped, or “white*” people who coyly deprecate their own race as an obvious ploy to indirectly self-congratulate and perform the benevolent patron saint with condescending kindness. Save us the self-righteousness; vanity only looks good on dead people. When anyone takes a dig at “old white* men,” I view it just as racially contemptible as a dig at any other ethnic group or gender. I don’t see anything wrong with being rich, old, or “white*” as long as we collectively continue to make that option equally available for everyone else. As for ‘Black Lives Matter’: I am no more black than my beige kindred are white, and I don’t identify as such. When I say I don’t identify as “black,” most hear a rejection of the color. I have no quarrel with the color, no more than with indigo or violet – feel free to call me whichever skips your heart. What I reject is the underlying framework itself: beige people claiming “white” and consigning other human beings to “non-white/colored.” I won’t surrender my dignity for a position in a binary designed to undermine it. That said, I appreciate and have solidarity with the principle of BLM, but personally do not feel comfortable with anyone *telling me* that my life matters or not. That shouldn’t be anyone else’s call. No, it should be the other way around. *I tell you* that my life matters. The problem began when some people claimed the authority to decide the value of others’ lives; asking them to affirm it now leaves that authority where they put it. I simply can’t cede such power to the whims of society or any movement. So, I prefer to be the judge of my own worth and value – better or worse – and tell the world, not the world telling me. Yes, individual refusal alone won’t negate systemic realities; it’s one half of the work. Holding up that half beats resignation to powerlessness. The other half is collective, which is why I again acknowledge the broader principle of BLM and support the sentiment of equal recognition for every race and demographic. That recognition has to run in every direction too, because prejudice does. The vilest racial slurs ever hurled at me have come from people who are themselves ethnic or gender minorities, and the people most likely to insidiously interject racial salience out of nowhere into interactions or suggest concern for their personal safety in the context of my race are usually progressives and liberals… jarringly inept at relating with a person without invoking a label. I have also been offhandedly prejudged as lazy or watch the arduousness of my labor patronized by kibitzers of all shades and kin who have never themselves built anything substantial at scale from scratch. There’s this strange idea that if you are of a specific profile, you probably aren’t “working as hard,” “making the right effort,” or need to be schooled on the value of “work,” while at the same time, your most valiant endeavors in drudgery are dismissed or downplayed. These animosities from both people who are not dissimilar and those who also claim ideological superiority make me surmise racism as not only a product of history or ignorance, but another canvas where people project their own insecurities and vulnerabilities, even onto those otherwise similar to them. If we all had the [exact] same skin color but different hair or eye colors, there would still be discrimination… in fact, there is. If we all had the [exact] same skin tone but different heights or weights, there would still be discrimination… in fact, there is. Humanity is a creative species. If there is any physical difference to be found, we will find it – and then both adore and stereotype it. Some of us even go beyond the pageantry, giving the traits juridical force and constructing pseudoscience and law around them. People have and show prejudice for the slightest variation in their fellows, even when it is as superficial as a tattoo. Whichever you are: olive, brown, beige, pink, mutt; be unapologetically you and have self-respect. You are foremost a person, not a color, gender, class, ethnicity, statistic, geography, or privilege. Be your own man/woman beyond the evanescent solidarities of other people. Do not condone anybody demeaning you racially or by any other category – work, life, station – even when they do so “charitably”; otherwise, you will feel entitled to continue the cycle and treat others similarly. Reaffirming your sense of self beyond social categories, even when it condemns you to a more difficult life, is by far more worthwhile and actualized than most people, including your patronizers, will ever know. However you look, you are gorgeous, and legitimately sister and brother.

*Why are “white” references in quotation marks? Because I reject “white” as a silly, narcissistic, but surprisingly lingering colonial construction that christens a group with a vainglorious status at the expense of other groups, bogusly elevating only them with all the broad cultural connotations of the color white: pure, divine, daylight, blameless. It’s the kind of righteous self-classification a group will crave to gaslight everyone, themselves first, into their worthiness in committing atrocities and theft against their fellows, whom they derogatorily dehumanize on a spectrum of non-whiteness down to black, along with the broad cultural connotations of that diminishment: impure, heathen, dark, guileful; thus, inferior and deserving of affliction. To be clear, my comrades of European descent aren’t the only race to have committed barbarous genocides for avarice and conquest. Emphatically no. Every race, every color, every ethnic group, even biological families among themselves, commits acts of sadism for position and influence. In this sense, my treasured siblings of European descent are no less or more human than any other ethnicity. Greed and violence are a human condition, not an ethnic one. My focus here is on the colonial fiction of ‘white’ and ‘colored,’ which is still perpetuated to this day to describe groups of people. Couldn’t keep the incredulity off my face when I once heard a liberal beige woman nonchalantly describe a Hispanic gentleman as brown and herself as White. The separation seemed very important to her. The gentleman had a noticeably fairer complexion than the person labeling him brown and herself White. “What a joke!” I thought. Who came up with these ‘emperor’s new clothes’ labels anyway, and why does the cartoonish irony remain largely unchallenged? Here’s where many liberals will quickly retort, “Oh, it’s *just* a social construct!” – meaning, in its popular rhetorical use, an idea or concept that exists because of collective agreement and shared understanding within a society. When exactly was this “collective agreement and shared understanding” reached to label you “white,” and how did it happen? Also, why are you so keen on being labeled “white” and keener still on stamping other humans “non-white”? Liberals in particular (sustained first-hand experience), why is this binary contrast so important to you that you can’t help but mark and foreground race at the *very* first opportunity you get – I mean the *very first*? Why is relating with another human being as simply an unmarked person so challenging for you? And what’s with the unsolicited self-deprecation about your ethnicity in casual conversations as though you were supposed to be regarded differently from other ethnicities to begin with? Or the ostensible criticism of “white men” that backhandedly idolizes the same prerogatives it criticizes? Why the missionary impulse to re-educate others into this purported “social construct”: inducting people into role-plays on how to act and see themselves based on how they look, trapping some ethnicities in a subservient or differential way of thinking? Currency is a social construct, facilitating exchange. Borders are social constructs too, organizing governance. “White,” on the other hand, is a political invention engineered specifically to hierarchize, to make a legal and psychological distinction that positioned one group as default human and everyone else as deviation. It is civic harm, not civil consensus. The person who invokes the category as “just a social construct” while relying on its consequences recasts an injurious framework as a neutral social convention but continues to position themselves as racially advantaged over other people. The framing lets them have it both ways. No. It is a self-awarded construct: the twisted virtue of straw-manning the egregious evil, condemning the straw man to sound enlightened, while preserving the very depravity condemned, rebranded a “social construct” – why lose a political myth so handy for exceptionalism, especially for anyone low on self-esteem. Yet, evil or not, the merits are simply absent – figuratively, and literally. Angels may be white. Saints may be white, too. Even a wraith may be white. People of European ancestry, on the other hand, are most certainly not white. Nobody is. Hold a white shirt against any arm; the difference is plain. I’ve never met a single human being of flesh and blood who can claim the color, in fact or of virtue. I have, however, met many cherished kinsfolk of various colors, including shades of pink, shades of brown, shades of olive, and shades of beige. So contrary to the ridiculous conceit of describing one group as white and others as colored, we are all colored, in the literal sense, and thus we are all people of color. This is more beautiful to my eye because our assortment is a strength, not a shame to sanitize. Anyone who insists on a color they clearly aren’t (claimed as literal when literalism excludes, as figurative when scrutiny arrives) – especially at the expense of other equally bona fide human beings – is, at best, comically insecure. At worst, delusional.
TL;DR – It genuinely amuses me when people describe themselves as white with a straight face. You are not white, bruh. Not literally. Not figuratively. And I am not inclined to indulge a chucklesome colonial fantasy and color complex. Everyone is a person of color. Embrace yours, beige. It really is gorgeous enough. Read More »

On Faith and Spirituality ― The tenets of my faith are: (i) my relationship with God is founded first on an intimate personal fellowship. Dogma and institutions of all kinds are categorically secondary to my devotion. (ii) God is secure – has to be if really Almighty. Therefore, the Being shouldn’t require the neediness usually put around it by people. If needing us to create its own sense of existence, then that Being isn’t fit for what we deem it to be. On the other hand, if this Being is Absolute as repeatedly ascribed, then it shouldn’t be intimidated or compelled by defiance, despite our self-importance. Read More »

On Criticism – A hallmark of life is the variety of our individual experiences. This diversity is the cradle of creativity, allowing us to appreciate the world in expressions and forms different from our own, and that’s good. It also means that opinions are necessarily manifold, and even while acknowledging the sensitive emotions around criticism, I make an effort to keep an open mind on even the most fundamental subjects. Regarding personal criticisms, while people are prominent in my appreciation of life, their approval isn’t necessary. When you summarily dislike me, that’s ok because you’re probably not my type either. Even though a gentleman to some extent, I am no Boy Scout, and becoming one isn’t exactly on my list. Communing and cherishing the people in our world is a quintessential element of my engagement in life, but it just isn’t where I define myself. It shouldn’t be for anyone. | See an Excerpt »

Embarrassing (?) Or Authentic (?) Reveals: I watch the 2016 movie Arrival every New Year’s Day – most underrated movie ever. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service is likely my favorite Bond movie, and Timothy Dalton is my favorite Bond character. The funniest thing I’ve ever seen on film is probably True Lies. Had lots of Indian movies in my childhood as well. Some of my favorites are Sholay, Mard, Dostana, Yeh Vaada Raha, Fifty Fifty, and [the incredibly cheesy] Commando. Favorite TV dramas from that time included Rosa Salvaje, and some Lebanese series I only recall today as Cristina. My favorite Nigerian movies are Oracle, Living in Bondage, and Rattle Snake. As far as Disney, I think my favorite is Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas. On Christmas, my favorite carol is Ring Christmas Bells. Samurai X and Apple Seed are definitely my favorite anime… Do those count as anime? Disliked Samurai Jack during my teen years – too slow and tedious – but as an adult, watching it again, the show and the Samurai’s endurance might very well have saved my life by becoming my prime example of resiliency and grit toward an unattainable mission. Also owe more than I could ever tell to playing The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past during my early teens – beating the game was the first time I actually thought myself capable of broad impact. Had a mind-numbing crush on Miranda Keyes of the Halo universe (never played; streamed it), and – for her death – wish I killed the stinking Prophet of Truth myself… by strangulation. The name Halsey, Dr. Catherine Elizabeth Halsey, has a ring to it. The cancellation of the TV series Firefly (2002–2003), with its particular cast, is, in my opinion, the gravest mistake humankind ever committed in its entire existence. HBO’s Succession, though hardly a fond memory, marked a significant turning point for me while grieving my father’s loss… In wrestling, Mick Foley is possibly my most beloved character – the contrast between Mankind’s sadistic ring persona and Foley’s warmth as a human being inspires me. Dusk is my favorite time of day, late spring and autumn my favorite times of year. My middle name at birth was Cyriacus, or was it Cyracus? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I dislike looking busy or hurried… I don’t think communicating an air of busyness makes a person meaningfully occupied or important. At the same time, the one thing I am seldom guilty of is not making an effort, even asinine ones. Maintaining eye contact, even on the best days, does not come naturally to me^[»], let alone on the worst days – the aversion tends mainly to hone my ears to what’s being said or choose the right words. Speaking of, I find human ears gratifyingly amusing; their odd layered shape and spread simply crack me up and it’s one of the first things I stare at on other people. With women wearing makeup, my eyes involuntarily find the line where the foundation fades – the sharper the contrast with their bare skin, the wider the grin. Despite my highest esteem and comfort thriving in relationships, I value independence just as much. As a gesture of good faith, I show a lot of vulnerability in friendships – bad fits often mistake this authenticity for weakness or some misguided opportunity to dominate or patronize… usually doesn’t end well for either of us:/. I allow ample benefit of the doubt when dealing with people, but will stay with an informed decision once made. I’ve known life when people defined my role and told me who I am… I’ve also known life where I tell people who I am as well as the role I choose… I much prefer the latter, despite its unpopularity and the tendency to be misunderstood as mere pride. Having experienced denigration for a significant portion of my early life, especially within my childhood household where the judicial rule was “the older sibling has prerogative and is right irrespective of facts, and must never be faulted in front of younger siblings” (I am the lastborn of six, so do the math on pent-up outrage), I tend to overcompensate for this as an adult by a wariness of any authority or charge over me that feels unearned, and a low tolerance for disparaging environments and people who thrive on making others feel small, overly self-conscious, or constantly on the defensive. Another side effect of this child life hangover is that I tend not to respond well to being hazed, no matter how prized the new community or person, and would rather leave. I am likely a neat freak – unable to function and physiologically distressed whenever my personal space is cluttered or untidy – which is rather amusing, given I was the opposite as a teenager, pater’s gene resurgence in adulthood I guess. It takes me no less than two hours for a *quick* shower, usually at random hours of the day or night. More of my housing neighbors have moved from my snoring than any other issue – something about hearing ogres and fearing for their lives ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Cowards! Even when inclined to contribute somehow, I do not bid publicly in fundraisers or auctions because I consider the process manipulative of people’s insecurities. I hate reunions. Personality tests categorize me as ENFJ-A, and astrology as Scorpio / Lunar Taurean… weigh that for a moment, the hardest-headed of both earth and water signs in a single person; tsk, the gods are cruel. I tend to be a devilish matchmaker for single and open acquaintances – more than a few babies, well, grown people now, who wouldn’t exist without my deviousness… talk about changing the world. Love animals! But share a fundamental disagreement with them on post-go orifice policy that rules out cohabitation. My texting top speed is 1word/minute, even when my life depends on it. I generally maintain some distance from my phone and email, especially at home, and the ringer is almost always set to Silent/Vibrate. However, I typically reply to messages promptly upon seeing them, regardless of the time of day or night, and do not delay an answer for effect when I already have the information. If you’ve never received a misdelivered email or letter from me, you haven’t known me long enough; my workflow makes this inconvenience rare but inevitable. I am not a lucky person. Lotteries, sweepstakes, random draws – all seem to filter me out with pointed consistency. My personality score on spontaneity is precisely zero, and while I consider myself intentional and thoughtful toward people I’m interested in, I’m not a calculated person. I struggle with the practice of celebrating achievements or relishing triumphs; for me, a win serves primarily as a signal to turn the page to the next item without looking back, except to glean personal lessons relevant to other challenges. In early life, I attended a boarding school where we were often required to eat with a fork and knife, alongside adhering to various forms of etiquette. While I have discarded many of these customs in my adult years, some have remained; many of my mannerisms and language, even in the most intimate situations, still carry an amount of formality and propriety beyond my will, and I still prefer to eat with fork and knife – even pizza. Oh, and I never dine for the “dining experience”; I dine for the food. My ideal woman is a paint-covered portrait artist who is also somehow a neat freak – I know, I’m living with the disappointment too. And if I could do it all over again, I’d be a stay-at-home dad.

Featured song:

“I am a human being first, and then I’m Indian, American, Nigerian…” Memories from early tech days.

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